Coasting

This past year I’ve done very little with my life.

I’ve befriended some great people but keep everyone at an arm’s length distance and spent a lot of time on the internet and a lot of time with my own thoughts, indecisive as ever.

I’m on the verge of failing two impossibly difficult Accounting classes and struggling to fully commit to something challenging when everything in my life has come so naturally to me.  Hard work is so foreign.  I’ve never had to study as much as I am now, nor have I ever felt as completely incompetent.  I’m embarrassed that a few test scores can do so much damage to my self confidence.

After a week of soul searching, I’m ready to do something big, new, and challenging.  I’ve been hesitant for far too long and I’d be stupid to pass up the job opportunities that come along with an Accounting degree just because a few classes are testing my mentality.  I might end up graduating late and having to retake a class or two but I’m going to get it done.  I’d hate to be someone that gets weeded out of the class that is designed to make you doubt yourself and your intelligence.  I know I’m better than that.  We all are.

I’m also sick of avoiding people out of fear of getting hurt.  I was recently asked out and said yes.  I’m dating a French Canadian which entirely new.  French.  Weird.  I’m going to say yes to more things and that’s that.  Short and sweet post to commit myself to things that scare me.  Good old Saint Cloud, Minnesota has a lot to offer and I need to stop pretending like it doesn’t.

Go out there and do what scares you.